Bosses = Parents
October 2nd, 2008 by Cali & Jody
Picture this: We’re on our flight to Memphis to do the keynote at the TN SHRM conference. Jody runs out of “fun” magazines and reaches for the in-flight publication. All of a sudden, she gasps…loudly. She hands the publication to me and I see an article titled “The Family Practice: Supervise your employees as if they were your children - with patience, compassion and a bit of tough love.” Supervise your employees as if they were your children - just that much made us feel a bit nauseous. But just wait…here’s the thing that had us ripping our hair out:
“Be a Role Model: True leaders lead by example. They act morally and do what is right, so followers learn the correct path. If you want your child to share his toys, you’ll share the remote with your spouse. If you want your employees to come to work on time and put in extra hours when it’s busy, you’ll be at the office early and stay late.”
Are you feeling our pain? This is the advice to leaders in 2008?
Here’s our rant: We will continue to see things like this. We know that. This is a classic representation of the current work culture that we (and you) are trying to change. What we do ask is that when you see or hear leadership lessons - in publications, online, at conferences - that you ask yourself the following questions:
- Do these leadership lessons have anything to do with results?
- Will these leadership lessons help me attract and retain the best of the best?
- Do these lessons ask me to behave in a way that shows I trust my employees?
We (us and all of you) are responsible for creating the work culture we have. If we continue to work and live according to messages like those written in this magazine, we will remain status quo. If we decide to buck the system and try new ways of doing things that are based on common sense and are good for our lives and the business, we will see change. We own our present and our future.
One more thing: As you talk with people that are unhappy with the way things are in their work environment, ask them one question - what are you doing to change that?
Great post–dugg.
Just another reason why many people in my age range (gen y, quarterlifers, whatever you’d like to call it) are looking to entrepreneurship and self-employment. I am all for trying to change these types of environments–but I also think a lot of younger people are realizing that some of this ridiculousness is so ingrained in company cultures that they’d rather exit that world completely and go out on their own.
See my Sleepy Time post…but honestly, when did this whole “we are a family” stuff start?
Uh oh…Mikey just made a mess…oh Boss…..
I get it, I love it and I was actually preaching it today.
One question I CANT answer (yet) is hourly employees? I was speaking with a room full of health plans that have a high concentration of call center people and they keep coming back with, “Well, this just couldn’t work for us. We have people with life threatening claims that need an answer!”
Help me on this.
Almost done w/ the book but I’m liking what I’m reading (and my employees are going to be even more excited!)
Let’s chat soon,
Brad
Please no. I have parents. I have successfully matured and married and life my life without their constant input. I don’t need a boss doing that for me.
What employees need are a clear understanding of what “work” needs to be done, what success looks like for that “work” and then to be treated like adults and trusted to get the work done regardless of when they are in the office, where they work, etc. The proof is in the outcomes, not in the location or time spent.
Take my own situation. My job could be done remotely. There are times I need to be available during the typical 8-5 at my office, and times when I could get the work done at different hours. I have a somewhat flexible schedule. However, since others are “abusing” this schedule (said with a grain of sarcasm), we now have to ensure flexible ee’s are logging in when they start and logging off when they leave so their hours can be tracked.
It’s not about the work at that point. It’s about perception, traditional ideologies and, dare I say it, control.
If we go back to the boss as parent, it’s like my company has said, yup, you’re old enough now to have an alternate schedule, but we don’t trust you completely so we’re going to adjust your curfew rather than remove it. Oh, and mommy and daddy will be here at the door watching you come in and watching you leave, just to make sure you can handle your freedom.
I’m sorry, but shouldn’t my work speak for itself?
Seriously, like I care when my boss comes in early, works late or works the weekends. All I care about is what I am working on, what other projects in the department may be impacted by my work and what I need to do to get it done. Why is this such a hard concept for so many others to accept?
Do CEOs, HR people and middle management cry themselves to sleep at night because they don’t feel like they are doing a good ‘parenting’ job because their employees don’t want to voluntarily work 50+ hours a week? Here is what I learned as a kid…
When I was a kid, my parents never told me I needed to spend a set amount of hours doing my homework, mowing and cleaning the yard or taking out the trash. They just expected me to get things done in a timely manner after I was assigned a task. There were deadlines to meet, of course, and their leadership was meted out by discipline when the tasks weren’t completed on time. That’s the true ‘parenting’ example we need to move us forward.
@Brad There are probably lots of answers in the ROWE Startup Kit regarding hourly workers and how to help them work in a ROWE, but I’ll offer some thoughts regarding call centers and other customer service operations. ROWE doesn’t mean everybody gets to not work; it means each individual has the final say on how they will organize their time to make sure the goals or results desired by the company are met. That means that in a team environment, workers still have to communicate and work together to achieve results and getting those results may require shift work. However, rather than having management dictate who works when, the individuals will have to come to an agreement on how to cover the work. This can only foster more teamwork, as everyone realizes they are backing each other up to make sure their lives flow as they want and the company gets what it wants in the form of results. If workers decide to take advantage of the company and their co-workers, they will terminated because it will be obvious they are not truly focused on results.
The message is clear. We are still working in a very strange culture that allows this kind of abusive behaviour. Our time is monitored, every step we take is restricted. Managers come up with new rules to exert power over us. They infused some uncertainty, confusion, and they manipulate situations to their own advantage. They become GREAT manipulators. Their objective is to keep us down so they can show us how powerful they are. In my company this kind of behavior is well accepted. Politics reached a high level of sophistication that these stupid “unwritten rules” are the norm. The irony of this whole situation is that those same Managers talk a lot about “Team Work, Courage, Respect, Taking the walls down, Compasion, Being proactive, bla,bla,bla. This kind of crap makes you vomit.
This situation is affecting people and of course bussiness. If we want to be competive we have to change and focus on RESULTS. How many years would it take? Could it be possible? Could this kind of non-sense last forever? well, common sense tells me NO.
Glad to see this post hit some nerves!
@Brad - @Matt gave a great response to your hourly employee question. He hit the nail on the head - the life-threatening claims will still be taken care of. The great thing is that they’ll probably be taken care of more quickly in a ROWE. Call center employees tell us all the time that they feel like second-class citizens because the way they need to work is prescribed to them. Once you lay out the clear, measurable expectations and set them free to determine how the work will happen, it’s amazing what you get in return.
@nelson - yes, by all means, your work should speak for itself. Mommy and Daddy have their job to do with you in your personal life, but no one needs a Mommy and Daddy at the office doling out curfew notices.
@Concerned Employee - this kind of nonsense won’t last…not if we have anything to say about it! so glad you’ve joined our conversation. looking forward to continuing to hear your thoughts…
RIDICULOUS!!!!
Maybe as parents we should give our worker children the gift of creativity, solving their own problem (with our help and guidance) and joy of teamwork.
TIME FOR A REVOLUTION BABY!! Time change the idea that being a good corporate citizen only consists of giving money to charities. Giving people the freedom of their time would definately contribute to society in a huge way.
I think it is employees being treated as children that has got us into this mess in the first place (high staff turnover, unengaged employees, low productivity, no passion). A ‘family’ atmosphere is positive i.e. personal connection, genuine care for each other but NOT as parents! Gee, that article sounds like its fresh out of 1960 or something! http://www.thebossbenchmark.blogspot.com
My grandparent (my supervisor’s supervisor) came looking for me the other day. I was in a scheduled meeting with a co-worker and we were interrupted by the grandparent who requested me to leave the meeting to help a walk-in customer with filling out a form. I said to get the person name and number and I would call them back. I did not leave the meeting.
I found this interruption to be extremely demeaning. Is not my time (and my co-worker’s time) as important as theirs? Apparently not. There is no reason why the grandparent could not assist the walk-in except for the fact that they don’t know enough about what I do to actually assist.
@Kim - the revolution starts right here and our readers have what it takes to make it happen! There’s no time to waste - let’s reclaim our lives and do what’s best for business. Rock ‘n ROWE, baby!
@Allison O’Neill - we keep telling ourselves this magazine must have been sitting in the plane seat pocket since 1960 and just didn’t get cleaned out.
@Mad Guy - love the reference to ‘grandparent’. You may have just started a new trend on the blog…when you refer to anyone you work with, you must equate them to who they would be in your family. We’ve seen this a lot in work environments…one of our faves is when a grandparent sits and watches a phone ring while saying “the phone is ringing” instead of answering it.
You have the ability to determine where your time is best spent, and you exercised it. The world didn’t come crashing down when you didn’t leave the meeting, and our bet is that the customer got what they needed from you when you called them.
I can’t believe that is still being taught to people today. Maybe I just don’t notice it because I only strive for one thing and that’s be different, stand out, and make things happen.
I guess it works for some people though and I’m sure articles like that will be around for a long time because somebody is listening.