Thanks to the reader who sent this through the Tell us why work sucks button:

Please be advised that the temperature in this office is set by me and ONLY by me. The thermostats are NOT TO BE TOUCHED - PERIOD. Should you find 21 degrees Celsius (standard room temperature) too chilly, put on additional clothing and speak to your manager.

ANYONE ADJUSTING THE THERMOSTAT WILL BE SANCTIONED WITH DISCIPLINARY ACTION

THIS WARNING WILL NOT BE REPEATED

Thank you for your co-operation.

After all veiled threats, controlling behavior and ALL-CAPS YELLING, we’re a little puzzled by the “thank you” at the end.  “Thank you” for amusing me by abiding by this insane rule?  “Thank you” for allowing me to think I can control everything that surrounds you - even the temperature of the air?  We’re a bit worried that the manager looks soft by thanking the readers of this memo, when clearly people need to know who’s boss.

We know there’s more crazy nonsense like this out there. Please send it to us. Stuff like this just makes us fight harder.

There’s a little buttony, widgety thingy over to the right that says “Tell us why work sucks.” (It’s right above the RSS buttony, widgety thingy.)

Many of you have been clicking on it and telling us your stories. Thank you! We can’t solve the problem of work unless we’re all talking about it as a problem. Please keep writing and venting and sharing.

Here are three stories that we hope inspire you to tell us yours.

Work sucks because . . .

I’m micromanaged, work for someone who is completely anal, controlling and swears at his employees on a weekly basis. Everyone of my co-workers, except the “boys club”, feels sick to their stomaches to come into the office everyday, unless our boss is gone. We are all afraid of making mistakes…and that right there leads to numerous mistakes being made. We over-analyze everything because we are always second guessing ourselves. I call it the 50/50 rule; you have a 50% chance of doing something right but chances are its going to wrong!

**

Work sucks because . . .

When clients need my help, I’m asked to search the internet for a book because someone else is too important to that for themselves.

***

Work sucks because . . .

I work for a large university with over 45,000 employees. You’d think there might be some open mindedness, right? I draft benefit plan documents, employee newsletters, respond to high level employee complaints. I spend over an hour driving 60 miles round trip to work. I have discussed the possibility of telecommuting with my manager. Oh no, no, no. He even has issues with requests to work from home when I need a repairman over or weather conditions are inclement.

Why? He cannot be assured my home “work space” is safe and there are liability issues. What if I fell and broke my arm at home while on “company” time? He is more comfortable when I am available on the spot if he needs me (I’ve seen him twice this week for a max of 3 minutes).

And, he really cannot monitor my productivity if I am not there.

I write for crying out loud! What is not measurable?

British meat company Brown Brothers recently (and rightfully) caught flak for their “Dickensian” bathroom break policy. The company required that workers clock out, and then take off their boots, overalls and hairnets before going to the toilet.

Union leaders complained this amounted to having workers lose pay in order to use the loo. The company countered that they had an incentive plan where more money was awarded to people who could go to the bathroom at preferred times.

I don’t think you need us to give the Results-Only Work Environment take on why Brown Brothers’ policy is boneheaded. You don’t need to use the ROWE mindset to know that it’s unfair (not to mention unwise) to micromanage your employees’ bladders.

But we aren’t galled by the policy. (We’ve heard so many evil, controlling workplace policies that it takes a lot to shock us.) What amazes us is that Brown Brothers didn’t think anyone would find out.

One of the factors working in favor of people who care about work-life balance issues is the increasing transparency of the working world:

If you do something stupid, shortsighted and cruel, then the world is going to find out.

If you do something smart, forward-thinking and generous, then the world is going to find out.

We hope that every HR manager and business leader within the sound of this blog takes these simple ideas to heart. The next time you revisit the employee handbook, ask yourself if you want to be the kind of company that ends up in somebody’s blog for contributing to making work suck. Or if you’d rather be known for doing it right.

We thought we’d pass along this funny story from the trenches of work (and work sucking):

A friend of ours has a “Work Sucks” magnet on his car. When his boss saw it, he said, “Bob, I’m really disappointed in you for having that on your car.” Our friend didn’t think anything of it, but his boss kept commenting on the magnet throughout the day. When he went out in the parking lot at the end of the day, our friend noticed that his boss had taped a note to the magnet, altering its message. It now reads:

“Work is really good and I love my boss”

We’re grownups. And, as grownups, we are not afraid to recognize (and correct) our mistakes.

From this point forward, work is really good and everyone loves their boss.

Thanks to Michael Salamey for interpreting the Workplace Signs with such gusto and verve:

These posters endorse conformity to a status quo of Mediocrity. The basic premise of all three is, “Do not make (me/ everyone else) look bad”. The last poster especially, in the guise of promoting politeness and courtesy, in actuality insinuates that out-performing or not conforming to “the way things are done around here” can be just cause for revenge.

Further, these posters exploit the lack of recognition that should be granted for producing results. They foster a mentality of cynicism and promote an “Us versus Them” attitude, coyly stating that regardless of how well you perform, “no one else will notice”. (But then, why would anyone notice if the favorite activities of subordinates include “running down the boss”, “dodging responsibility”, and “pushing their luck”)?

Despite being sometimes humorous, these types of posters/ sayings/ quotes, etc. are perpetuated, frankly, by those who would fear things like a “Results-Only Work Environment”. Who could blame them? It would be terrifying for someone whose apparent success has come by “putting in the time” and getting to know “the right people”, to have a truth uncovered—a truth about themselves they may not have even been present to.

In a ROWE, lack of ability to produce results is clearly and obviously detectable. What CEO with a sixth-grade reading level (I have met many) would not fear that? Indeed, the cynicism of these posters is the cynic’s natural defense to keep their (glaring) secret covered… even to themselves.

Yup. That’s pretty much it. Michael, your book is on the way.